Cold
by Samandjackforever
Summary: Summary- A look into what Rodney’s life was like after the episode Trinity. Spoilers for “Trinity” Dark, angsty
1. End it all

Summary- A look into what Rodney's life was like after the episode Trinity. Spoilers for "Trinity"

A/N- This has major Rodney whump and will have major team angst and Rodney angst in later chapters

Cold

Chapter 1- End it all

Rodney stared bleakly at the blue screen in front of him. Each word blurring into the next as the scans results pop up.

'Is this what my life has come down too….a bunch of blurred words on a screen?' He thought to himself as he closed the browser and leaned back in his seat. He rubbed his eyes and looked back at the marine standing guard at the door.

He sighed and looked down to the floor. Every since that one mistake he's been hounded. Watched like a common criminal because of his near deadly error. He can handle the working limitations and approval of projects through Zelenka but being watched was the one thing he could do without.

He stood and shut down the computer with a sigh, "never take a break, do you?" he asked the silent marine as he walked over to the door.

The marine, wordlessly, stood aside and let Rodney pass him a little before following him.

Rodney paid no mind to the marine and continued walking down the hall aimlessly. His mind in a fog with exhaustion and loneliness.

He lowered his head as he stopped mid-stride, his brows furrowed in intense thought, 'how much longer is this going to go on? Will I ever gain their trust back? How long will I be alone like this? It's just like how it used to be…I'll be alone forever…just like when I was a kid…' he thought sadly as he then continued on slower.

His thoughts never ceased, 'maybe I should just pack up and go back to earth. I mean it's clear they'll never forgive me…I can only say "I'm sorry" so many times. But…what if I mess up on earth like I did here? Then there will be no place for me…maybe I should just cut the losses and end it. All of it. Tonight.' He thought as his head snapped up. All his other thoughts remained silent except the urging thought.

"End it all" he murmured to himself, "That's it…what's the point of going on with no one…" he said quietly as he continued on.

He glanced back at the marine following him as they approached the nearest balcony, "Just going out for some air. I'll be fine." He said as the marine reluctantly nodded, taking post elsewhere.

The air was cold with a bitter pang as the oceans crashed against the city. He welcomed the numbing breeze as he stood by the railing and peered over. It was a far drop, none too quick either. He straightened up with a frown. That is certainly not the way he wants to go.

He leaned against the railing in thought before he sat down on the cold ground with his knees up and his pleasantly numb arms resting on them. As he thought his fingers absent mindedly drifted over the top of his wrist.

Almost instantly the light bulb turned on. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his standard switch blade that he always carried with him in case something needed to be cut in the labs. He flipped the blade open and stared at the smooth sliver.

He held it close to his face examining the sharpness, his breath fogging the cold sliver briefly.

Dark thoughts invaded Rodneys mind as he ran the blade along his arm, not putting pressure on it, just sliding it on the skin.

He turned his arm over so that the sensitive side of his wrist was exposed. The pale skin beckoning him, just waiting to be cut open, waiting to bleed.

Rodney sat up straighter and cross legged on the cold floor as he watched intensely. He moved the blade down to his lower forearm.

He pushed down on the blade and slowly broke the skin of his numb forearm. The slight burning pain was a warm welcome.

Blood bubbled from the test cut and dribbled down onto the floor. Relief flooded Rodney as he let the blood drip. Without even thinking twice Rodney repeated the motion on his forearm, blood staining the blade and the floor. He continued until he couldn't think of anything but the relief and burning pain.

He didn't even notice the footsteps as the marine approached and walked onto the balcony.

All he wanted to do was cut. Cut away the pain and loneliness. Cut away the guilt and shame of losing everything he wanted for so long to have.

The marine rushed over to Rodneys side, "Dr. Mckay?!" he bellowed as he tried to wrestle the blade out of Rodneys hand.

Rodney kept a strong grip but the marine over powered him and snatched the blade away.

It was in that very moment something in Rodney snapped. He hollered as he desperately tried to get the blade back but the marine had him pinned on his stomach in seconds.

"I need a med team to the west pier balcony!" the marine said into his ear piece as Rodney struggled under him.

"get off me! Get the fuck off me!" Rodney cried angrily as he struggled but the marine stayed firm.

As the med team rushed over Rodney gave up fighting. The med team flipped him over onto a gurney gently.

Carson rushed over to Rodneys side and started barking orders at his team as they worked to get the bleeding to stop.

Realization hit Rodney like an eight ton truck as his anger and defeat faded into sadness.

"oh god…what have I done…" Rodney said trying to stop from sobbing but he failed as a broken sob broke through as the med team wheeled him to the infirmary.

Carson gave Rodney a sedative to calm the distraught man as they pulled into the infirmary.

"C…Carson…I…I'm so sorry…a...about everything…" Rodney managed out as sleep made his mind fuzzy.

"I know lad…I know. Och…I told them putting all those restrictions on you for this was too much…" Carson said as he gazed warmly down at rodney, "just sleep my friend…we'll fix this." He said gently as Rodney drifted into a restless sleep.

TBC-

Ok I know I already have a "Rodney cutting fic" out there but I like this one much better lol this idea was inspired by this song- "Over my shoulder" by- Mika. I'll try to be fast updating this one but I am currently working on another fanfiction as well ("you're tearing us") I hope you enjoyed the first chapter.


	2. Forgive and Forget

Cold

Chapter 2- Forgive and Forget

The news of Rodney's breakdown spread like wildfire, in only a matter of hours, but only as a rumor. No one wanted to admit that it actually happened without proof. All they had was a marine's word.

Many people made the attempt to get a confirmation from Carson or Elizabeth but they turned them down wanting to keep quiet for Rodney's sake.

A cold feeling settled in the pit of Elizabeth's stomach as she stood before john's door. She knew john would be sleeping and didn't want to have to wake him up with such bad news but she had no choice.

She knocked on his door lightly and waited. Moments later the door slid open to reveal a sleepy but semi-alert john. He was dressed in his boxers and killer panda tee.

"John, I have some rather bad news to tell you," Elizabeth began as she mentally prepared herself, "Something's happened to Rodney." She said as she met johns gaze.

His look was unreadable for a moment before turning to bitterness, "What did he do this time?" John asked, his voice unreasonably harsh.

Elizabeth was slightly surprised with johns reaction as she looked down and remained silent a moment.

"Well?" john asked impatiently his voice now holding slight concern, as if the moments silence enforced the seriousness of the situation.

"The marine that was on guard reported that Rodney went out on the west pier balcony for some air, or so he thought" She said as she sighed and brought her gaze back up.

Johns posture was stiff and edgy, "did he jump?" he asked, his voice quiet and filled with a held back dread.

Elizabeth shook her head, "No…he didn't jump. The marine said he walked out on the balcony to check on Rodney and he found him sitting on the floor. He had a switch blade in his hand and his forearms…john he was tearing his forearms apart. The marine says it looked like a suicide attempt…I haven't gone to see Rodney yet so I'm not going to make any assumptions yet." She finished with a shaky sigh.

Johns gaze was fixed to the floor as he leaned against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest.

"So you mean to tell me…he was cutting himself?" john asked as he pulled his eyes off of the floor, "Mckay wouldn't do that. He's the type to lash out at everyone when he's pissed off or sad or whatever…Mckay would shy away from pain…wouldn't he?" he then asked as he stood up straighter.

"Apparently that's not the case. The marine said that when he looked into Rodneys eyes he saw nothing but desperation…and sadness." She said as she wrapped her arms around herself, "I think it's time we put this whole Project behind us…forgive and forget…for all our sakes."

John remained silent as he stepped out of his room, "I'm gonna go see him." He said quietly as he headed down the hall, leaving Elizabeth by his door.

TBC-


	3. Why

Cold

Chapter 3- Why

When john arrived in the infirmary Rodney was just waking up. As soon as Rodney was fully awake he turned on his side and curled up tightly on the bed not even noticing john walking over to him.

"So it is true" john stated as soon as he got to Rodney's side. The tone of his voice was boarder line angry.

He received no answer from Rodney who kept his back to him. John pulled up a chair and sat down at his bed side.

"You can't avoid me forever Rodney…I can wait…" John said bitterly as Rodney turned around, his eyes meeting johns. The look in them took john off guard; they held a sadness and flint of anger.

"Why do you care so much now? You never cared to talk to me before…why all of a sudden when I find myself.....unnecessary.... you care? You've made it very clear you are going to stay pissed off at me for forever…I fucking get it ok…so just...just leave me alone..." Rodney said, his voice worn out and dry. He sighed and turned back away from john.

John looked as if he was going to say more but was cut off by Carson, "Oh Rodney, you're awake…good…" he said as he went to Rodney's side, he eyed john, "Sorry lad, no visitors tonight…" he told john as he got Rodney some water.

Without another word john turned on his heel and left. He was heading back to his room when his radio chirped to life, "Sheppard," he answered as he stopped walking.

"John this is weir. We need you in the briefing room now please. I'm calling a team meeting to get the facts sorted out." Elizabeth said and john nodded.

"Alright, be there in ten." He said as he changed his direction and headed towards the briefing room.

_At the briefing room-_

The team, plus Dr. Heightmeyer, was seated at the table looking grim having heard the news. They were all still dressed in their pajamas. It was then john remembered he was still in his boxers so he walked in and sat down, quickly and quietly. He folded his hands in front of him on the table with a sigh.

"You all know why you are here and you've all heard the news. So now we just need to think of ways to fix this…" Elizabeth said as she looked around. Everyone remained silent with their heads down.

"When I went to see him…he said he found himself unnecessary…" john said quietly as he looked at each of his team members.

Teyla's expression was one of guilt and sadness and Ronons was unreadable. They both remained silent.

The sound of the doors opening interrupted the stillness in the air as Carson walked in with his medical files and took a seat.

"Carson, would you like to shed some light if possible on this situation…" Elizabeth said as she addressed Carson who nodded.

"Unfortunately I can't give any good news. When I approached the pier with my team the marine had Rodney pinned under him. Looked like there was a struggle on Rodney's part, blood was smeared all over the floor. He was unresponsive for a while when we got him on the gurney but I guess after a bit he started to realize what he did. I had to administer a sedative to calm the poor lad down. He was a sobbing mess…but he managed to fall asleep and I got to examine his wounds further. A few of them needed stitches but all together he had about thirty maybe forty cuts on his forearms. And out of those cuts about 20 of them needed stitches." Carson reported as he sighed sadly.

"And you think he intended to kill himself?" teyla asked in disbelief and Carson nodded.

"Well it seems that all signs point to attempted suicide but I don't want to believe it. Someone who wanted to die wouldn't sob his heart out when someone steps in to help. This was just a cry…a plead for help. I think it was just a matter of time before he would do something like this…but I'm no psychiatrist." Carson said softly as Dr. Heightmeyer looked up from her files.

"I agree with Dr. Beckett. This was just the first phase. He obviously doesn't want to die but I'm just taking that from a quiet observation of him over the past hour. After John left was when I arrived in person. I just sat with Rodney and took notes. He didn't acknowledge me there and all he did was stare at the ceiling lost in his own thoughts. I would say that the first course of action is to set up regular mandatory meetings with me and then we can go from there." Dr. Heightmeyer said as she closed her file.

Elizabeth nodded in agreement, "Sounds like a plan." She said lightly.

"But first I'd like to get your first hand reactions to this….if you wouldn't mind…" Dr. Heightmeyer continued as she pulled out a recording device and looked expectantly to the team, "Just for the record." She finished as she turned the device on.

TBC-

Ah yes, leaving you hanging on a thread ^___^ what will they say? Stay tuned!


	4. shock

Cold

Chapter 4- Shock

"How about we start with you Elizabeth." Dr. Heightmeyer said as she looked to Elizabeth, "How do you feel about this?" She asked.

Elizabeth looked to Heightmeyer with a sigh, "I feel, honestly, blind sighted. I never thought that Rodney would hurt himself. I feel like I should have seen it coming and I feel horrible that I didn't." She said as she kept her gaze on her hands.

Ronon grunted as Heightmeyer looked to him, "I have nothing to say except this…I told you all that punishing him like a common criminal was wrong…" he said as he looked around the room.

"I'm deeply saddened by this. I feel like I failed my duties to him as a friend." Teyla said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I should have seen it coming….I'm his doctor for Christ sake!" Carson said with a defeated sigh.

"And you john?" Heightmeyer said as she looked to john.

He shrugged in response, "I don't know….angry at myself…angry at Rodney…sad…" john said with a sigh, "And that's it…" he finished his gaze lowered.

"Care to elaborate?" Heightmeyer asked wanting to get more out of john, "Why do you feel angry at yourself?"

"I'm angry at myself for not seeing it….I'm angry at Rodney for doing it and I'm sad because I didn't realize that my avoiding him was hurting him like that…" john replied before standing, "Are we done here?" he asked already heading for the door.

"I suppose so…" Heightmeyer said as she stood as well but her answer didn't matter. John was already out of the room.

"He'll probably disappear for a bit to let it sink in." Elizabeth said as everyone else stood up.

"Carson, is Rodney up for visitors? I would like to see him." Teyla said as she walked over to Carson.

"Aye he's awake but I don't know if he'll acknowledge the company" Carson said in a sad tone as he scooped his files up.

"Then I will sit with him." Teyla said gently as she nodded with a sad smile.

Carson nodded in agreement, "That sounds like a good plan lass…" he said as they headed out together.

TBC


	5. Teyla

Cold

Chapter 5- teyla

The infirmary was quiet and dim when teyla arrived at Rodney's private spot. She approached his bedside quietly and took a seat.

Rodney was curled up on his side with his face hidden from view. His shoulders were shaking in jerky motions as he cried to himself.

Teyla reached out and gently touched Rodneys shoulder and Rodneys head jerked up into view. His eyes wide blood shot and red from tears. He glanced at her before looking away embarrassed.

He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, "Sorry…" he murmured softly.

"Do not apologize…I should be the one saying sorry….for not seeing the distress you were in…" teyla said in a saddened voice as she squeezed his shoulder lightly before letting go.

"Y…you don't have to say sorry either….I….I just lost it….it's no one's fault but my own…" he said softly as he sat up, "but the scary thing is….I…I want to do it again….It gave me peace…it shut my mind up…for once…" he then said as he looked down at the stark white bandages covering his arms.

Teyla reached over and took his hands into hers, "There are other things you can do besides injure yourself Rodney…" She said softly, her eyes glistening with held back tears.

"No teyla…I finally figured it out…how to get rid of the pain and guilt of letting everyone down…losing johns trust…I'm sorry john…I can only say it so much…I'm so fucking sorry…" he said, his voice on the verge of breaking then suddenly, his hands go limp in Teylas grasp. His face became expressionless as if he was a doll and his batteries died.

"For what it's worth Rodney…you are important to me…and I love you…" She said gently as she released Rodney's hands and stood. She wrapped her arms around Rodney in a quick hug which he didn't return, she didn't expect him too.

She then headed out of the infirmary to seek out john to talk to him.

She walked to johns room and was about to knock when she heard a crash from inside.

TBC-

CLIFF HANGER! Lol!


	6. Blame

Warning- we got some swearin' goin' on! Just to let you know.

Cold

Chapter 6- Blame

Teyla opened the door as soon as she heard the crash and walked in. John was on the floor, his left hand cradled to his chest and his knuckles bloodied.

She walked over and kneeled next to him, "What happened?" She asked softly as she took his hand into hers and examined his knuckles.

"had a bad dream…rolled out of bed and tried to catch myself…hit my hand too hard…" he said as he looked to her and pulled his hand back.

"How long did it take you to come up with that lie?" She asked as she sat fully down next to him. He sighed and leaned his head back on the bed behind him.

"'bout two seconds…" he said which came out as more of a sigh as he glanced over at her.

"I just got done visiting with Rodney…it was…" She paused, "well it was sad…when he spoke his voice was full of such anger and grief…I've never seen him like that…He was talking like he was trying to say sorry…to you…to all of us…and he has no intention to stop harming himself…" She said carefully, her voice shaking slightly and john straightened up with a frustrated grunt.

"Just say it teyla…I'm the root of the problem aren't I? It's because of me he did it…" He began as he stood, teyla was about to protest but john cut her off sharply, "because of me and the stupid goddamn project!" He exclaimed as anger took him once more and he kicked the wall.

"John, we cannot place blame on ourselves but, our actions…we did not know this was hurting him so badly and the only reason we decided to put up the regulations was because of the risk he took…the emotional wall he has placed to hide from us works well john…" She spoke calmly as she stood as well.

John spun around from the wall he was facing, "**I**__should have known teyla! I should have been able to fucking see it! I'm his team leader…his friend and I did the one thing I never thought I'd do…I turned tail on him…" he said his voice filled with guilt as the cuts in his knuckles stung.

"Blaming yourself is not going to help him. Try talking to him again john…maybe you could…" She paused a moment to place a hand on johns shoulder, "show him that you are not angry with him anymore…" she said softly, but her voice fell upon deaf ears as john stepped back from her with a shake of his head.

"I can't…..I'm sorry I just can't…" He started but teyla raised her hand silencing him.

"John…you think that "turning tail" on him was bad. Not being there for him now is worse." She said as she moved towards the door and waited.

John followed her out the door and without a word headed to the infirmary, his heart hammering in his chest.

Teyla doesn't even know half of it.

Not even.

TBC-

I know short again but I wanted to get this updated for you guys! Yay!


	7. Face to Face

Cold

Chapter 7- Face to Face

John walked into the infirmary slowly and quietly. It was almost dawn and there was a slight orange glow peering through a window; lighting up the room somewhat.

He stood in the far corner as his eyes drifted over the beds. Some were empty, the sheets smooth and tucked in precisely and some were full with healing patients. However to john, none of that mattered.

The only bed that mattered to him at the moment was the bed in the corner farthest from him. The bed that was cast mostly in shadows holding a restless Rodney Mckay.

He walked closer to Rodney's bed silently as he mentally prepared himself to get the cold shoulder.

Rodney was facing the wall, his form was completely still. John pulled up a seat and sat in silence. From where he was sitting it looked as if Rodney was dead to the world. For a moment john felt as if he was stuck in a picture.

Framed in time forever.

A loud scraping noise broke the stillness as john scooted closer to Rodney's bed. He winced at the noise and eyed Rodneys form as it stirred.

Johns mind screamed at him to leave and save himself the ear ache as Rodney started to turn around but his conscience would not let him leave. He took a deep breath as his gaze met Rodneys.

They held each others gaze in an uncomfortable silence and rest of the world seemed to melt away.

"r…rodney I think we should talk…" John finally brought himself to say as he cleared his throat, his eyes never leaving rodneys.

"Ya think?" Rodney added sarcastically with a bitter hinge as he sat up cross legged. He folded his hands in his lap and looked down at them.

"Look Rodney…I know sorry won't fix this…" John started only to be harshly cut off by Rodney as his eyes darted right to johns.

"Like hell it won't. Do you think you can just waltz in here, say "Sorry" and expect that to be that? Well that's not going to happen. I thought that you had enough brain cells to know when something got out of hand. OK I admit it already I made a MISTAKE! I know it nearly cost our lives but I was trying to make it better for all of us. It could have very well been the answer to defeating the wraith. However NO ONE can see that! All they fucking see is the mistake and the shell of a man it's left behind! Just because of this fucking mistake I've lost everything. My leadership position among the scientists, my confidence, my friends and worst of fucking all…your trust. I thought that you'd get over it…but no…you never did and now when you realize how much this fucking hurts me…you want to make amends?? Fuck that…get the fuck out of my face Colonel." Rodney said coldly as he stared straight into John's eyes.

John stared back in silent shock as somewhere in the deepest depths of his soul he felt something break. He held rodneys gaze until the angry scientist looked back down at his hands.

"Rodney…listen to me…before you strike me out…I know how I've been treating was shitty…and I just want you to know how sorry I really am. I understand you're mad and that words can never take back the betrayal you must've felt…but I just wanted you to know…" He said as he stood and started to walk away. He was by the middle row of beds before stopping, turning and walking right back to Rodney.

John took a heated breath, "You know what…no…I'm not going to let you ignore me…I know the reason you did this, "He takes Rodneys arm into his hand, the bandage glaring back up at him, "I know you did this because of me…not because of everything else but mostly of me…what I want to know is, if you've never cared about what people thought of you before…why am I the exception? There's gotta be a reason why you would want to end your fucking life because of a temporary lose of trust!!" He exclaimed as his hold on Rodneys arms got stronger.

Rodney tried to get his arm out of johns grasp, but the painful sting of stitches prevented from much movement, "Colone…john…please….just fucking go." He said quietly the fight in him drained as he looked into johns eyes, but john held strong.

"NO! not till you tell me…why do I matter so much to you? Why?" john demanded as he loomed closer to Rodney, their noses almost touching.

"John." Rodney attempted to say which came out as more of a whimper as he tried to shrink away from him, "I…I can't tell you…"

"Why the fuck not?!" john practically shouted his patience running thin. The nurses on watch looked up and made their way over to help calm the problem.

John ignored the nurses and kept his eyes on Rodney as if Rodney was the only person in the universe.

Part of john hated what he was doing, he hated to be the one to put the fearful look into Rodneys eyes or make the man he's grown to care for seem small and valuable.

"What do you want from me john? What do you want to hear?" Rodney asked his voice shaking slightly. Johns grip loosened on Rodneys arm as he backed up so he wouldn't get himself kicked out.

"I want to hear the truth…why do you care so much about what I think of you?" He asked his anger leaving him as he sat back down.

Rodney took a deep breath, 'Here it goes…time for truth' he thought to himself.

TBC-

What do you think? Good/ bad?


	8. Truth Time

_Last time on "Cold"-_

"_I want to hear the truth…why do you care so much about what I think of you?" He asked his anger leaving him as he sat back down._

_Rodney took a deep breath, 'Here it goes…time for truth' he thought to himself._

Cold

Chapter 8- Truth time

Rodney fidgeted slightly as he folded his arms over his chest tightly. He kept his head down, "Ok…you want the truth…fine…" he snapped out bitterly.

"The truth is…before I came here...to Atlantis I never felt as if I fit into the world….no one's ever tried to be my friend like you have…no one's taken the effort to see past what I put on…but it's grown john…it's grown to so much more and I can't stop it…" he spoke softly a hint of nervousness in his tone.

John leaned forward slightly, "Can't stop what?"

"I can't stop these feelings….for you…I know that it would never happen and I've accepted that just being your friend…best friend was all I was going to get but then to lose you like that…god john…I thought I was left out in the dark. To see you hold all that anger and disappointment in me…it was painful and as if that wasn't enough you put me on criminal watch. As if I was going to try to destroy more solar systems! What kind of an animal do you take me for?" He asked his tone turning angry as he looked up.

His eyes gazed over johns face as he waited for a response. He watched as john stared at the ground before lifting his gaze to Rodney.

"Rodney," He began his tone light and controlled, "I didn't think you were an animal…it was just what protocol made us do…the IOA over stepped the protocol and had it in effect for longer but I'm not saying your blame was placed on the wrong shoulders. I…I encouraged them to draw out the restrictions…I figured it would do good for you to learn the consequences for your arrogant behavior." He paused, "I can't tell you how much I hate myself for saying those things about you…I didn't realize how much it hurt you…"

"well it did…badly…I....I want to show you…" Rodney said gently as he started to pull the wrappings off his arms. John reached out to stop him.

"Rodney don't…" he said but Rodney ignored him and pulled the wrappings off.

The cuts were red and vivid as they criss-crossed over his arms. John looked at them as he felt a surge of emotion rush through him.

And for the first time in a long time john wanted to cry.

He reached out and slid his hand under Rodneys up turned hand. His hand was cold and shaking ever so slightly. His other hand brushed against the uninjured smooth parts of his arm. They were both so stuck in their own world they didn't even notice the nurse close the privacy curtain around.

"John…" Rodneys voice was quiet and light as he looked from his arms to john. John returned the gaze and saw what Rodneys first and foremost reason was.

He was in love with him.

Rodneys breath taking eyes studied johns for a clue into what he was thinking.

"your hands are cold…" john broke the silence as he held Rodneys hands firmly in his grasp. Rodney squeezed his hands in response.

"I know…john I..." he started but john stopped him with a hand on his shoulder as he stood. He leaned in close, so close so that they were at whispering range. He could feel Rodney trembling under his hand.

"Tell me…" he whispered as he looked into Rodneys wide eyes.

Rodney closed his eyes, "I've fallen in love with you…" he whispered softly.

"Look at me" john whispered and Rodney opened his eyes. Fear of rejection lay in them. John reached up and cupped rodneys cheek in his hand.

"I never thought…I'd fall in love…with my best friend…" john said softly before he leaned in and pressed his lips to rodneys.

At first Rodney was shocked still his eyes wide, but he didn't pull away. He closed his eyes and melted into the kiss.

The sound of distant footsteps broke them apart just seconds before the privacy curtain was pulled back Carson walked in with his chart and Dr. Heightmeyer.

"Rodney…it's time for your appointment." Carson said gently as he glanced at john.

John nodded and looked to Rodney. He squeezed rodneys hands lightly even brought them to his face and kissed them ever so slightly before he left.

Carson nodded at Rodney with a relieved smile as Dr. Heightmeyer sat down.

"Looks like the scars are going to heal just fine…took the bandages off I see…" Carson commented as he looked over Rodneys arms.

"Yeah…they were getting itchy." He lied as he pulled his arms closer to himself. He may have made amends with john but he still has to help himself.

"Alright lad…I'll leave you in Dr. Heightmeyer's capable hands." Carson said before he left with a nod to her.

"Ok Rodney…let's begin"

TBC

I think this is one of my biggest chapters lol. Good/bad?


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